Heathcliff's Score
by Tara1189
Summary: I stood upon the brink/And dared to risk the fall


**Please be gentle with criticism as this is my first attempt at poetry (which you'll probably be able to tell pretty soon) based on Heathcliff's distant preoccupation in the days just before his death. I'm still not quite satisfied with the end result, but reviews are appreciated. **

* * *

**HEATHCLIFF'S SCORE**

**I**

How strange it is to seek  
One's soul beneath the ground!  
My deepest wish has been  
To dig away the mound  
Of earth that hides her  
From my gaze, and to lie  
Beside her still; for in  
Those arms I hope to die.  
In that longing, last embrace.  
Yet in my heart I know  
The Cathy that I yearn:  
She does not lie below.

The chill and frosty shell  
Betrays no spirit proud.  
Fevered passion does not burn  
The cold and marbled brow.  
Fires do not spark from  
Such hollow, lidless eyes.  
Neither do the frozen lips  
Release their moans and sighs.  
Lustre bright does not alight  
The tresses of her hair.  
In this senseless, lifeless corpse?  
She does not linger there.

Midnight does not surrender  
This straying, seeking wight.  
A darker shade within  
The dark heart of the night.  
Nor does she steal upon  
The soft awak'ning morn.  
It is the state of shadows,  
The time 'twixt dusk and dawn  
When ghosts are known to walk,  
When the eye begins to see  
The shapeless take on shape.  
Then she will come to me.

**II**

A whisper in a dream,  
A voice that called my name,  
Beckoned to the lonely heath:  
A wraith, a slave I came.  
I let myself be guided,  
Submitting to her will.  
Impatience burned within  
My unquiet heart until  
A pinnacle of rock  
That seared the sky became  
My seat, my peak, my throne  
That o'erlooked the plain.

A storm was drawing nigh:  
Swift rolling thunder crashed  
And split the sky asunder.  
Through the flares that lightning flashed  
And shafted through the clouds  
Dimly could I see  
Emptiness eternal.  
I cried 'deliver me  
From this confining world  
Of bleak and bitter days!  
From lonesome shrouded paths  
That stretch out cold and grey!'

Breathless hush descended  
The wild and wasted moor.  
The wind was stilled, the clouds  
Cleared; through the gloom I saw  
The veiling fog dispel.  
'Now is the time!' I thought  
As wild hope flared and blazed,  
My dreams and visions wrought  
Her face, her form, her mould.  
Fierce pride, complacency,  
Betrayed the curt command:  
'Reveal yourself to me!'

Even as I spoke, I felt  
The ground begin to quake.  
Terror seized me; up I leapt  
And sought for an escape.  
Falling rocks and unplumbed depths  
Such faced me if I stayed,  
Fooled by this mockery that  
Sought only to waylay.  
Through the tumult I felt a  
Groan pass through the seat.  
The Earth convulsed and opened wide  
A chasm at my feet.

When the final tremors ceased  
And look at last I dared,  
Through mist I saw that you  
Were waiting, silent there.  
My soul became a point  
Of fire, gone was all dismay.  
Then it seemed my mortal  
Outward flesh was stripped away.  
Poised at the abyss  
My fetters broken all,  
I stood upon the brink  
And dared to risk the fall.

With outstretched hands I reached  
– But even as I sought  
To clasp you tight and true! –  
Reluctantly I caught  
The unrelenting call of  
A nearer, clearer voice.  
I writhed, cried; yet it was  
Against all will or choice,  
Drawing me, calling me  
Towards the wakeful day.  
Your waiting ethereal form  
Dissolved and blew away.

Waking restored substance,  
And substance restored pain.  
One fleeting sigh then you  
Eluded me again.  
My soul was bound to flesh  
My flesh was bound to chains.  
At your graveside I awoke,  
It was silent, still, the same.  
No ghost disturbed its peace  
Though bitterly I wept  
And tore up at the earth.  
Your corpse, uncaring, slept.

**III**

How can I accept that you  
Are gone eternally?  
Fated to despair, I  
Long only to be free.  
Yet it seems the more  
I strive to quench the fires,  
The surer come those visions  
That plague me with desires.  
Then heavy bonds return  
To deny my liberty  
Until to live, to breathe  
Is a mighty agony.

My God, how wrong I was  
For all those times I wished  
To tear myself from you  
Truly am I punished!  
Forced to writhe in torment,  
The throbbing heart does burn  
While frenzied I await  
The day you may return.  
Joy will seize my spirit  
Fired with passions warm.  
But until such time, the dark,  
The thunder, and the storm.

Everyday a desert  
Deprived the sight of you.  
These craving pangs of madness  
In vain I must subdue.  
My only strength is vengeance.  
You have become my sin.  
To you alone I show  
What dark thoughts lie within.  
Hate me if you will, yet  
It was for you I fell.  
Death alone can claim me  
To end this living hell.


End file.
